Void
by stopnatsu
Summary: "But Lucy," Natsu protested, "I'm your best friend!" Lucy glared at the boy, words hissing out of her lips. "I think I'd remember that!" A minor mistake on a mission results in Lucy losing her memory of everyone she ever knew - including her best friend. Wracked with guilt and confusion, she attempts to regain the bonds she's lost - with Natsu's help, of course.
1. Chapter 1

**_A/N:_** ** _Hello readers! A new story! This one is a little different than my usual, because I'm going at it in a very different way. I don't intend to plan very far ahead with my writing-I'm just gonna go with the flow! we'll see how it turns out!_**

 _ **Anywho, I don't intend for this story to be very long, nor will it be super deep with morals and whatnot. It's gonna be a fun little multichapter. Hope you all like it! Please read, review, message me with thoughts or ideas! I'd love to hear from you! Thanks so much for reading I am so thankful to anyone who reads my stuff!**_

Natsu frowned, dark eyes searching the girl's face. "What're you talkin' about?" He sputtered, confused. "I'm your best friend!"

Lucy had been in the infirmary, knocked out cold the entire day. They'd gone on a mission that morning to a nearby village to deal with some rowdy pre-teens who were abusing their magical powers to harass the locals. The kids hadn't been strong—they were just a nuisance, really—but right at the very end, as they were handing the brats off to the local authorities, one of them cast a spell that hit Lucy square in the back.

She'd been out cold ever since then—physically fine, but fast asleep—and Natsu had carried her back to the guild, Happy fluttering alongside them.

Once he'd gotten there, they'd taken her directly to the infirmary and checked her vitals. She was alive, she was breathing, her organs were in normal condition. In fact, Wendy couldn't find a single thing wrong with the blonde—there were no wounds to heal. Wendy guessed that it was a sleeping spell, and that Lucy would wake up within the next couple hours. And that was that.

Naturally, Natsu didn't leave her side. He pulled up a chair, grabbed some snacks, and waited. He was in it for the long haul.

Good thing, because it took her three days to wake up. And when she did, it was absolute chaos.

She'd cracked an eye open, then flinched at the rays of sunshine hitting her square in the face; she yawned, stretched, feeling like she'd just had the best sleep of her life. She sucked in a relaxed, deep breath, and then opened her eyes, looking to see her surroundings.

And when she realized there was a pink haired boy _directly_ in front of her face, she began to scream.

Lucy jumped back, screeching, shuffling to the far edge of the bed, trying to get away from him. Natsu frowned, tilting his head to the side, his grin slipping away as he watched his best friend actually _screaming in fear_ at the sight of him.

"Help!" The blonde shrieked. "Help! Stranger danger! Help!"

He crossed his arms, making a face as he stood on the right side of her hospital cot. "Stranger danger?" The boy blinked. "What's wrong with you?"

The girl continued to scream bloody murder.

"Jesus," Natsu spat, leaning forward and clapping his hands over her mouth. "Would you shut up?"

Of course, him touching her didn't exactly ease her worries; she smacked his arm away— _hard_ —and continued to scream, louder this time. Frantically, she glanced around, looking for _something_ that she could use as a weapon. To her left, on the medical table, there was a thermometer. She snatched it, turning back to the face the pink haired boy, wielding the thermometer at him.

"You better back off, buddy!" She screamed. "I'm not afraid to use this!"

Natsu made a face. "What are you gonna do, check to see if I have a fever?"

"Ugh," Lucy hissed, ignoring his snide comments. " _Explain yourself_."

"Explain _what?_ " He snapped back, utterly confused by her harsh tone.

"Why you're in my room!"

"Man, you're really losin' it..." He mumbled under his breath. He took a split second, and then spoke to her. "Luce, you're not in your room—you're in the infirmary."

She hesitated, turning her head to the left slightly as she stared at him, thermometer still held up in defense. "I'm in the _what?_ " She blinked. "And what did you just call me?"

Natsu's eyebrows tugged down. Boy, she sure was stupid sometimes. "The infirmary, at the guild." He paused for a second, frown growing.

She blinked four times, eyes flickering around. Well, he was right—it definitely was a hospital of some kind. Not a bedroom. But why was she in a hospital? And what guild was he talking about? Now, her face was enveloped in a frown. She prodded him on, demanding an answer for her previous question. "What did you call me?"

"Uh...Luce?" The boy responded, clearly not getting it.

"Why?" She snapped.

"That's your name, idiot." He took a second. "Lucy."

Well, that seemed to really shut her up. She opened her mouth immediately, about to shut him down and correct him— _No, that was not her name_ —but then, after a second, she realized that she didn't actually _know_ her name. She couldn't correct him—she couldn't remember her own name.

But then, that got her thinking. Who the hell was she? Where was she? In fact...she couldn't even recall what her own face looked like.

"I..." She began, but trailed off, eyes wide. Her gaze dropped to the hospital cot, but then snapped back up to the boy. "Who are you?"

His face twisted up into a funny expression. "You don't know who I am?"

She shoved the thermometer at him threateningly, demanding an answer. " _Who are you?_ "

The thermometer thumped against his chest; he looked down at it for a second, then peered back up at the girl. "What're you talkin' about? I'm your best friend!"

"No you're not!" She spat back.

He crossed his arms. "Yes, I am!"

"Well, I think I'd remember my best friend!" Lucy hissed back.

"Ugh—alright," The boy grumbled under his breath, stepping back and walking towards the door. He went over to a little pad beside the door and pressed a red button. "This is just insulting."

"What are you doing?" Lucy questioned, tone harsh.

The boy narrowed his eyes at her. "Callin' the doc—you clearly need to get your head checked."

The pink haired boy made his way back over to her bedside—she thrust the thermometer back up at him, ready to use in case he attacked—and sat back in a chair to her right. He kicked his feet up and placed them on the tiny mattress, taking up most of the room and touching her blanket clad legs.

"And you can put the thermometer down, weirdo."

Lucy lowered the thermometer, letting her hands drop to her lap. She watched the pink haired boy, searching his face carefully; she was still extremely skeptical of him. She didn't particularly like having strangers in a room with her.

A couple seconds later, the door swung open, and an older woman with pink hair walked in; she had a stern look on her face, like she'd really rather not be there.

"What is it?" The old lady, Porlyusica, asked, eyes landing on Natsu. "You better not be calling for room service again."

"Nah," Natsu muttered, a little grumpy from Lucy yelling at him. "It's Luce—she's all stupid."

" _Hey!_ " Lucy cried.

Porlyusica stepped forward, frown landing on Lucy, now. "What's wrong with her?"

Natsu took his feet off the bed, sitting up straighter. "She woke up and started screaming like crazy. She doesn't remember me, or her name, or anything."

"Mhm," Porlyusica murmured under her breath, taking a little flashlight off of the medical table to the side and flashing it directly into Lucy's eyes. "Interesting."

Lucy made a face. "I can remember things," She snapped, taking a moment to give the pink haired boy a little glare. "I'm fine." Okay, so maybe that was a lie. But she didn't want pinky over there to be right.

The old woman didn't miss a beat. "Can you tell me your full name, date of birth, birthplace?"

Lucy fell silent. Drat. Guess the jig was up. "Uh..."

The boy grinned. "Told ya."

" _Shut it_."

Porlyusica stepped back, voice flat. "I'm guessing you were hit with an incomplete spell."

Lucy frowned slightly. "What's that mean?"

The old woman explained. "When someone casts a spell or a charm that they aren't strong enough for, that they aren't capable of casting, it comes out incomplete. Every incomplete spell _wants_ to be complete—that's the nature of magic. So, it took some of your life force in order to manifest completely. And when it took some of your life force, it took that which held your memories."

That shook Lucy, right to her very core. It was an odd feeling, not being able to recall any details about any of your life—and this confirmed it. She'd lost her memories. She was blank. She was a clean slate. It was surprisingly scary, not knowing anything about who you are or what you've done.

"Will she ever get her memories back?" Natsu asked, arms crossed in front of his chest. As annoying as she'd just been, he couldn't help but be concerned—she was his best friend, after all.

"Possibly. That, I'm not sure of. Maybe, when she regains her magic power, and her life force is replenished..." Porlyusica trailed off. "I can't guarantee it."

Lucy felt her heart drop; her veins buzzed, brimming with fear and anxiety. She didn't know where she was, she didn't know _who_ she was...she felt very unsafe. Like everything around her was a risk.

Porlyusica headed for the door. She spoke one last time before heading out of the room, over her shoulder. "Physically, you're fine—you can be released from the infirmary." She paused. "Natsu, take care of her. This won't be easy on her."

She left, leaving Lucy and Natsu in the room together, alone yet again.

He turned to her. "So...you can't remember anything?"

Lucy eyed him, her guard still up. He still was a stranger—a threat. She supposed he deserved an answer, though. "No, nothing."

The boy ran a hand through his hair. "Yikes," He mumbled, letting out a huff of air. "Welp, guess I'll just have to tell you stories about all of our adventures."

Lucy could feel a smile instinctively working its way up to her lips, but she paused, hesitating. Her eyes ran over the boy's face, searching every nook and cranny of it; she desperately tried to wrack her brain for any recollection of the fellow. Clearly, she'd known him when she had her memories...but now, he was a stranger. The thought irked her, left her stomach unsettled.

She was a blank canvas, totally incomplete.

She was void.


	2. Chapter 2

Everything felt off, wrong, like a glove that didn't quite fit like it should. Lucy figured this odd sensation was due to her inescapable confusion—after all, it felt like she was living a life that wasn't her own. She had friends, guild members, an apartment that she had no recollection of. It was so bizarre—everything felt off kilter.

Natsu had brought her a change of clothes from her apartment, and she'd changed in the infirmary washroom. She'd spent a solid ten minutes in the bathroom glaring at her reflection in the mirror, trying with all her might to find something recognizable about herself. Another twenty minutes passed and she was still a stranger to her own eyes, so she gave up. She changed and left the bathroom.

Lucy knew that, even if she _could_ remember her past, this would surely be the loneliest day in her life.

"C'mon," Natsu said once Lucy emerged from the washroom, taking a couple steps towards the door. "Let's go."

Lucy didn't follow behind; she froze in place. To her, in her mind, he was still a complete and absolute stranger, and the knowledge that he knew her didn't lessen this. She couldn't just follow behind him blindly, not when she didn't trust him. "Where?"

The rose haired boy shrugged. "The guild hall."

She blinked a couple times, thinking over that suggestion. "Why?"

He had a plain look on his face. "Gotta eat sometime, don't you?"

Fair enough, she supposed. But going to the guild hall would mean interacting with guild members, and the idea of that instantly made her stomach lurch in protest. More strangers that knew more about herself than she did. Could she even face them? Could she handle the guilt of not knowing her closest friends?

"Aw, come on, Luce," Natsu murmured, taking a step towards her, a hand outstretched towards her. "I won't let anything happen to you."

Lucy's brown eyes flickered down to the hand he offered to her, eyeing it with suspicion; she cringed away from it, shielding herself slightly out of instinct. Her heart was beating rapidly against her ribs, a combination of adrenaline and fear rushing through her system.

Natsu saw the pure fear in her eyes, and his expression crumbled into one of hurt and pain; he glanced away quickly, hand dropping to his side. He took a step back, distancing himself from her. Not once in their friendship had Lucy ever been _afraid_ of him—truly afraid— until that instant. And it shook him to his very core.

For a second, Lucy felt bad denying him, cringing away from him, but she couldn't help the fear that was currently in charge of her every move. She was totally alone, totally confused, with absolutely no cure for her current state. She had nothing but fear to trust in.

"I don't think I can go to the guild hall," Lucy whispered, voice shakier than had anticipated. Her hands were shaking, now. How long would it take for this fear to dissipate? "I can't see anyone. Not yet."

Natsu's gaze searched her face; he gave her a solid nod. "I get it."

"I'm sorry," She said, and she really meant it. She was sorry that she was too much of a wimp to face her forgotten friends; she was sorry that she felt out of place. She was sorry she'd forgotten him.

"Don't worry about it, Luce." He turned to face her, eyes bright. It was like he'd totally forgotten her brutally rejecting his friendly action a moment ago, like it had never even mattered. "So, whatcha wanna do, then? It's getting boring sitting in here all day."

Lucy shrugged. "I don't know. What do I usually do?"

He thought about that for a moment, scratching the back of his head as he did so. "Well, usually we're at the guild in the day, but _that's_ off limits, so..." He trailed off, but came back around a few seconds later. "I could show you around Magnolia."

Lucy's eyebrows shot up, surprised by his suggestion. It wasn't a half bad idea, honestly—getting to know the city that she lived in was a pretty good way to learn more about herself. Besides, from what she'd seen out of the infirmary window, it was a beautiful place. "Really?"

"Sure."

And off they went.

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"So, you don't remember a thing?" Natsu inquired as they walked around the city streets, basking in the warm sunlight.

Lucy sighed. As much as she didn't want to talk about it, she figured being honest was the best thing right now. Besides, Natsu had spent hours walking around the city with her, describing the local festivals and activities, and he deserved to have some of his questions answered. "No. Nothing."

"Not even the mission?"

Lucy shook her head. "Nope. It's like...I can try and think back, but there's nothing there. Just white, blank pages. The last thing I've got is waking up with you in my face."

Natsu snorted. "Sorry about that. Didn't mean to scare you."

"It's okay. Sorry I screamed at you."

"Don't forget threatening me with a thermometer."

Lucy cringed thinking about it. She'd been pretty harsh to him—but in all fairness, from her perspective, he'd been a stranger harassing her. "Look, let's not get all nostalgic about that precise moment, okay?"

Natsu laughed, letting her brush it off. His expression fell serious a second later, and he turned his gaze from the cobblestone streets to Lucy's face. "So, how you doin'?"

She shrugged, making a face. "Can't complain, really. I don't remember anything that I've lost."

Natsu's eyes softened, and he stayed serious, ignoring her sarcastic response. "No, really, Luce. Are you alright?"

Lucy met his eyes; the concern in his face made her throat go tight. Clearly, he cared for her. They were friends. But the fact that she'd forgotten all of the memories of their friendship...it made her heart ache so much that she could cry. When she spoke, her voice was soft, weak. "I'm sort of a mess," She confessed. "It's just like...I'm a total stranger to myself. I don't feel like I fit in my own skin—I don't even know who I am."

Natsu's eyebrows knitted together, and he turned his head to face forward as they walked. "I could tell you some facts about yourself," He offered. "I'm kind of a Lucy expert."

Her eyes lit up, like a spark had been ignited. "You'd do that?"

"'Course."

A hint of a smile touched her lips. "Okay. Tell me about myself."

They continued down a cobblestone lane, passing cute little stores that lined the streets. It was getting to be late afternoon, and the sun was trickling closer and closer to the horizon; within the next hour, the sun would set and cast a dark shadow over the charming little town.

"You love cheese croissants. One time, I watched you eat twelve of them in half an hour."

Lucy blinked. "Almost wish you hadn't told me that one."

"You regretted it after—you kept asking me to murder you to save you from your severe stomach pain."

"That is...horrifying. Next, please."

He grinned. "This place, right up here," He motioned to a little storefront loaded with classic novels, "Is your favorite book store. Every time we get paid for a mission, you go in there and buy a book."

"So I like to read?" Lucy questioned.

"Yeah," Natsu said with a nod. "But your more of a writer. You're working on a novel."

"Oh." Lucy blinked, surprised by this knowledge. Somehow, though, it made sense in her mind. Being a writer...well, something about it seemed to click with her. Like she recognized it as a part of herself. "Is it any good?"

He shrugged. "Dunno—anytime I try to read it, you punch me."

"Must not be very good, then."

They continued on the pavement, making their way down the twisty roads of Magnolia; Natsu was clearly heading Lucy in a specific direction, a destination in mind, but she wasn't quite sure what it was.

"You're a neat freak."

Again, something that seemed to make sense in her brain, somehow, as if deep down she knew them to be true.

"You love the smell of campfire smoke."

Lucy couldn't help but smile to herself. All of these little details—the ones you would think aren't important—seemed to paint the right sort of picture for her. Things were coming together. She didn't quite know herself, not yet, but these tiny little details felt...comforting. "How'd you figure that one out?"

He shrugged, as if the answer were obvious. "I set this town on fire once, and you told me."

Lucy's eyes went wide. "You set a _town_ on fire?"

"Oh—I'm a fire mage." He thought that over, then rephrased it. "Fire dragon slayer."

Her eyebrows shot up. "Woah. Big shot."

"Shaddup."

"Come on—tell me more about myself. This is working."

That seemed to put a smile on his face. "Your favorite color is orange."

Lucy stopped dead in her tracks, causing Natsu to pass by her; he wheeled back, surprised by her sudden halt.

"Whatsa matter?" He asked, confused, hoping he didn't say something wrong.

This entire time, she hadn't known her favorite color. She hadn't even known herself well enough to guess. It had bothered her, irked her to her very core. It had been the one tiny detail that would send her mind into a frenzy. It was the one thing that proved to Lucy that she didn't know herself.

Everyone had to know their favorite color. They just had to.

And now, she did. Thanks to Natsu. Somehow, he'd known that she needed that tiny tidbit of information. Somehow, he'd known to tell her the one single thing that would make her feel better.

"Orange?" Lucy asked, tone serious.

"Yeah—you said orange was your favorite color." He paused, thinking of what more he could add, what more information on this topic he could throw in there. It seemed to capture her attention, seemed to ignite the spark in her eyes, and he didn't want to let the moment slip. "Sunset orange. You said it made you feel at home."

It struck home with her. _Sunset orange_. Of course it was her favorite color—how could it not be? Now that he'd said it, it only made more sense. It was fact, in her mind. It resonated with her soul.

She knew her favorite color, deep in her heart.

And suddenly, the possibility of remembering herself didn't seem so far off.

Lucy mashed her lips together in a straight line, trying to contain the smile that threatened to spill onto her lips. She looked up at Natsu, eyes bright. "Thank you."

"Uh, sure..."

She continued walking, pausing just long enough for Natsu to catch up to her. "You sure seem to know a lot about me."

"Well," Natsu murmured, struggling to find the right words for a moment. "You're my best friend. I know everything about you."

"We're best friends?"

He nodded back at her. "Yeah."

"Well...then I'm sorry I forgot you."

Natsu gave her a smile, trying to mask the pain that flickered into his eyes, but Lucy saw through it.

"Me too."

He lead her down a couple more streets before pulling to a stop in front of an apartment building; he explained that this was where she lived, on the second floor.

"Can we go in?" Lucy pressed, excited at the idea of seeing her house. After all, you learn the most about a person by observing their home; she'd learn a lot about herself by seeing how she decorated, what personal objects she kept.

So he lead her up and opened up the doors, and she stepped in, taking the entire place in. She ran her hand over the surface of her writing desk and she filed through a bit of her writing prompts; she touched the fabric of the curtains and the table runner. She looked at everything—the paint colors, the bedding, the organized bathroom cupboard—and found that everything made perfect sense.

Perhaps, deep down, part of her knew exactly who she was—it just needed to have its memory jogged.

She wasn't cured—she was nowhere near remembering anything—but at least now, she had an idea of who the hell she was.

And it was all thanks to Natsu.


	3. Chapter 3

Natsu had hung around for a while, watching Lucy as she made her way through the apartment. He'd watched her carefully, his dark eyes glued to her face, evaluating her expression as she encountered every single piece of herself that she'd forgotten.

He could tell it was an important moment. He stayed out of the way, not saying a word, choosing instead to watch her battling emotions flash across her face, light up her eyes.

Lucy wound her way around the place, eyes flickering up to the curtains, down to the floors. Every single aspect of the little space was heavily evaluated, run through her mind a million times. Her eyebrows were knitted together tightly, her body tense, her eyes focused.

She was determined to know herself, fully and completely.

Lucy worked her way through the apartment, assessing what she saw before her, surveying and classifying every object she laid her eyes on. She tried to make sense of it all, tried to relate every bit of the home to what it meant about herself. That fabric—had she picked it out? Had she fallen in love with the pattern, with the soft yellow color of it? Had she chosen it specifically to be her bedding? Had it meant something?

She made her way to the tiny little desk in the living room, covered in a mess of scattered papers. Lucy's eyes locked on the pages, focusing on the little tiny writing that absolutely coated the white sheets. Head cocking to the side out of sheer curiosity, Lucy picked up some of the papers.

From what she could tell, it was a story. She assumed it was her own writing and that this, in fact, was a story she'd written. Lucy hesitated for a moment, wondering why she'd never let Natsu read any of the content, but shrugged it off, deciding instead to continue on. She flipped through a couple pages, reading some of the dialogue and descriptions.

An epic adventure story, by the looks of it. It wasn't half bad. A story about magic users, people with the ability to throw blades of ice out of thin air, people who could turn their bodies to water.

Lucy read on, frowning for a long second as she made sense of the words on the page. Some characters were speaking now—and the names were horribly familiar.

 _"I'll protect you!" Natsu cried, voice strained with paralyzing fear. "I promise, Lucy!"_

Lucy blinked, reading over the passage one more time. Natsu? Lucy?

Had she written a story about people she knew?

Another second passed as Lucy flipped back a couple pages, reading over the names of the enemies her and her friends were facing in the story. Her eyes flashed up, and she spun on her heels, turning to face Natsu. He was back, still beside the front door, patiently and silently allowing her to roam the apartment without interruption. Lucy's cheeks went red, realizing that she'd been taking quite a long time and that he'd been watching her weird behaviour the whole time.

She turned her head slightly, trying to push her embarrassment to the back of her mind. "Did we ever...fight a guild called Phantom Lord?" She'd read the name in the story.

Natsu's eyes went a little wide, brightening. "Yeah— _wait_. You remember?"

"No," Lucy said quickly, shaking her head. She lifted some of the papers, shaking them a bit. "It's in here." Her brown eyes flickered back down to the pages, and she carried on, running her gaze over the small, neat writing. "I think..." She trailed off, taking a second to gather herself. "I think I wrote about our adventures, Natsu."

He made his way over to her, stuffing his hands in the pocket of his vest. "Huh." Natsu stood beside her, looking over her shoulder at the pages, beginning to trace the words with his eyes.

"Hey!" Lucy snapped, dropping her hands to her sides and swiftly taking the story out of the boy's view. "No looking." She turned to her right, watching him; their faces were so close she could smell him. His scent put a tiny smile on her lips, despite her attempts to choke it out; he smelled like campfire.

He'd been right—it _was_ her favorite smell. She could tell already.

"Aw, can't I just read a little?" Natsu asked, whining. His shoulders slumped.

"There's gotta be a reason why I didn't let you read it before," Lucy replied with a smirk, watching the boy's face fall even further. "I don't want to betray my own wishes."

He crossed his arm, pouting, now. "Fine. Meanie."

She couldn't help but smile at him. "I'll read it through, and if there's nothing too horribly written, maybe I'll let you look at it."

"...Really?"

Lucy shrugged. "Sure. I was probably just self conscious about my writing." She paused for a second. "But, right now...it doesn't _feel_ like my writing, so I guess it'll be alright."

Natsu snorted. "Sounds good. You better read it fast—I've been trying to read that thing for a solid two years. I'm excited."

"I'll try."

"So," Natsu huffed, flopping down on the couch and peering up at her. "How do you like the place?"

Lucy turned, her eyes washing over the whole place. "It's...cozy."

Her words weren't a lie; overall, the apartment had given off a cute, quaint charm. There wasn't much about it she didn't like—the windows were big and would let in a lot of sunshine; the bed was large, and the tub was a nice soaker.

"Find anything out about yourself?"

A smile touched at her lips—that seemed to happen a lot in Natsu's presence—and she scanned the place another time. "Well—I write a lot, which seems...right." She sucked in a breath. "And I've got a knack for decorating."

Natsu's eyes searched the apartment, too; he gave a nod in agreement. "Yeah, your place is pretty nice. Oh, man—you've gotta lay on the bed, though. Seriously. It's a like a cloud floating over dream land." He reached down and grabbed her hand, tugging her gently towards the bedroom, a look of determination on his face.

Lucy blinked down at her hand, looking at his grip on her. His skin was surprisingly warm on hers. She didn't mind his touch.

"How do _you_ know how soft my bed is?" Lucy questioned cautiously.

Natsu glanced back at her. "I sleep in it, silly."

Lucy sputtered, choking on her own spit; she coughed for a couple seconds as he hauled her into the bedroom, tugging her to the side of the bed. "You _what?_ "

Natsu turned her so that she was facing him, clapping his big hands down on her shoulders. Their bodies were close—too close for normal conversation—and the heat radiating off of his bare chest and arms rolled into her, making her cheeks blush red.

"Alright," Natsu grinned, ignoring her. "Lay on it."

Lucy hesitantly sat back, her bum squishing into the mattress below her. She was actively aware of Natsu's hands, still resting on her shoulders. She was _also_ actively aware of how _now_ , since she'd sat down, she was staring directly at his bare stomach, thanks to his open vest. Her ears went hot.

"Soft, right?"

Lucy was blinking, too shocked by the rather intimate—well, intimate by her standards, considering they were strangers—situation she was in. "I—well—I mean...it's nice."

Natsu released her and flopped on the bed beside her, landing on his stomach; his right leg nudged against her side as he did so. He snuggled into the mattress. "I love this bed."

"Wait, wait, wait—remind me again why you are so well acquainted with _my_ bed?"

Natsu's voice was soft and dreamy, like the bed had induced him into a half-coma. "I already told you, Luce—I sleep in it."

" _Why?_ "

"You let me, if you're feeling nice."

"Why the hell would I do that?" Lucy said with a frown.

Natsu pulled himself up so that he was resting on his elbows, still facing away from Lucy. Even from this position, though, she could tell that his expression had changed. The atmosphere in the room shifted; the air went a bit colder. When he spoke, his voice was quiet, more reserved than usual.

"I get these nightmares," He muttered, like he was embarrassed to admit it. "And usually me and Happy would crash on your couch. But you caught me crying, and—" He cut off, swiftly stopping himself; he didn't continue his sentence. His cheeks went a little red from admitting he'd cried. "It helps."

Lucy looked over at him, eyes focusing on the back of his head. His rosy hair was messy, spiking up in every which way. She could _just_ catch the side of his face; his lips were turned down at the corners. She didn't want to press him too far, didn't want to invade. Clearly, it was tough for him to talk about. So, she didn't.

Instead, she asked another question. "Who's Happy?"

Natsu was still for a moment, and then he swung back, flopping onto his backside to face her. "Holy shit, I forgot that you don't remember Happy!" He sucked in a breath. "He's our other best friend. I raised him."

"Oh," Lucy said, shocked. Natsu, this boy right in front of her, was capable of _raising_ someone? That was oddly impressive. Perhaps she needed to re-evaluate the guy—clearly he was more mature and capable than she'd originally thought. "Wow. Okay. So, I should meet him, then?"

"That'll make him happy." He paused for a second, face crumbling into a frown. "But only when you're ready, alright? There's no rush to meet people. Don't wanna stress you out more."

Lucy nodded. As easy as it was with Natsu, she knew introductions with other people she'd forgotten would be a lot harder on her—she was already plagued with the guild, knowing she'd lost all of their special moments together. "Maybe in a few days."

"Well, until then, I'll just have to keep you occupied."

She smiled at him again; it was beginning to become habit when she looked at him. "Sounds good to me."

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Since Lucy wasn't ready to head to the guild hall and meet her forgotten friends, Natsu had figured they better stay in, get some rest. After all, she'd had a long day of trying to find out who exactly she was.

He'd dug through her movie collection—complained thoroughly about her selection of strictly romcoms—and then settled on one that he happened to know was her favorite. He tossed the movie in and then plunked himself down on the couch beside her, crossing his legs and staring intently on the screen.

She had to admit, it was hard to focus on the screen when the pink haired boy was sitting so close to her. His knees touched the side of her thigh every so often, and it sort of sent her into a frenzy. The idea of this strange boy, who, in her eyes she'd only met today, sitting so close to her and accidentally, casually touching her without even a second thought seemed so... _intimate_. And really, it was stupendously intimate, in the most intimate way a friendship could be.

Because, after all, they'd been friends for years. To him, she was Lucy, his best friend forever. This wasn't out of the ordinary for him. Watching a movie, knees accidentally bumping, staying the night and sleeping in her bed...that was a regular occurrence. He was so used to being on that level of intimacy, it barely registered to him anymore.

But now, Lucy was glaring down at their knees, watching as the space between them diminished as the movie went on; he'd started to slump against her, began to use her shoulder as a cushion to lean against. By the time the movie was over, he was basically lying in her lap.

She would've smacked him off, yelled at him. After all, she didn't know the guy in the slightest. But she could tell, just by his body language, that he was _used_ to this. And he was so used to Lucy that he'd forgotten how much she'd forgotten, and she really didn't have the heart to kick the guy off of her.

So, she just stared at her legs and how his arms had now draped across them, the back of his head smushed into the crevice between her arm and her torso, and tried to stop her heart from hammering.

By the time the movie was over, Natsu's snores were filling the room. Lucy wasn't quite sure when he'd fallen asleep, exactly, but the sounds of his snores had ripped through the quiet air twenty minutes ago. The credits rolled and the living room was dark, and she leaned over and peeked down at him, trying not to jostle him enough to wake him up.

Natsu's face was totally serene, a stupid little smile breaking onto his lips.

And quietly, to herself, Lucy giggled, amused.

She watched him for a bit longer—she swore she wasn't being creepy; he was just sort of funny when he slept, that was all—and then began to yawn herself. She gently moved him off of her lap and made her way to her bedroom, digging through her drawers to find where she put her pyjamas. She located a raggedy t-shirt and some fitted shorts and tugged them on, and then went back into the living room.

Natsu hadn't moved; he was still snoring. Lucy crouched beside him, her face close to his, and poked his cheek.

"Wake up, Natsu," Lucy whispered softly. She prodded him again, a little harder this time. " _Wake up_ , sleepy."

He snored louder.

"Jesus," She muttered under her breath. She'd have to work hard. She reached out and shook his shoulder rapidly. "Natsu, wake up!"

The boy bolted upward in shock, mumbling out a "Whassat?" before crashing his forehead directly against the blonde's. He staggered back in surprise, blinking down at her. "Oh, hey, Luce. What're you doin' down there?"

The contact of his rock solid head against her dainty one had sent her tumbling to the floor, hand holding her throbbing head; she let out a cry of pain as she went down, knees buckling. Her whole world was spinning; everything ached. She couldn't open her eyes—her head hurt too much.

"Owwww," Lucy hissed. "You attacked me, you idiot!"

He frowned at that. "Oh—sorry."

Lucy sat up, rubbing her temple. "I was just trying to wake you up, and you go and _head butt_ me."

Natsu laughed. "Why'd you try and wake me up?"

Lucy let out a grunt as she pulled herself up to a standing position; she brushed dust off of her shorts. "Because," She huffed, letting out a sigh as she glanced up at the clock, checking the time, "It's bed time, and you said I let you sleep in the bed, so I was coming to get you."

He made a face. "Figured you'd want your bed tonight."

Lucy blinked. "I do."

Natsu's head cocked to the side. "But you were gonna let me have the bed?"

Suddenly, the truth dawned on her: when Natsu had the bed, she took the couch or the floor. But the realization had come too late; she'd already openly offered _sharing_ the bed with the pink haird boy. She'd caught on too late.

Lucy's face went beat red, her gaze dropping to the floor. "You know what? Nevermind." She spun on her heel, desperate to get away from the horrible embarrassing awkwardness she'd brought on herself. "Night, Natsu."

"Wait," He spat, reaching out and grabbing her wrist, preventing her from walking away.

Lucy peered back, eyes dropping, not meeting his gaze. She was far too embarrassed to look him in the eye.

Natsu held onto her wrist, his touch gentle. "You wanted me to stay in the bed... _with_ you?"

She blushed even harder. God, this was embarrassing. She'd just figured, since they seemed so close, that she would've allowed him to share the bed with her. If she'd known that she'd crashed on the floor, she never would have offered! She just didn't want to act differently than her normal self. She just wanted to be as much like her real self as she could.

But she'd messed it all up, and now everything was strange.

"I didn't mean..." She trailed off, still glaring at the floor. "I just thought..."

Natsu didn't look the slightest bit phased; in fact, his face was incredibly stern, incredibly serious. "Are you scared to be alone?"

Lucy blinked at him. She hadn't thought about it—sleeping alone in her apartment, totally blank of memories, totally void of her past—but now, it _did_ seem rather daunting. And it hadn't been her intent when she'd stupidly invited him to the bed, but she figured that since it was technically true, she'd use it as an excuse.

Lucy gave him a nod.

"Then, I'll stay with you." He said it so simply, like it wasn't the slightest bit odd. "Nothing to be scared of with me around, okay?"

"Okay," Lucy whispered back, still thoroughly embarrassed.

Natsu didn't seem to care about how horribly she was blushing; his grip on her wrist pulled down, his palm sliding against her hand, now. He intertwined their fingers and pulled her along, softly holding her hand, leading her to the bedroom.

"Get in—I'll turn off the light," Natsu said gently, voice smooth and comforting. Clearly, he was trying to make Lucy as comfortable as possible. It was kind of sweet.

Lucy hopped in the bed, pulling the blankets over herself. It was weird, laying in a bed that felt alien to you. The entire room was a little daunting, a little creepy. She had to admit, she was afraid to sleep there. It felt like a strangers' room.

"Wait," Lucy cried just as Natsu went to flick off the light. "Wait."

"You ok?"

"I'm scared of the dark."

Natsu gave her a crooked smile. "I got it."

He flickered off the light, but at the exact same instant he turned the lights off, he flicked his palm upwards; a little flame shot out, hovering about his hand. It lit the room dimly, just enough to keep it from being creepy. It was a soft, glowing light, one that made Lucy feel safe.

"That okay?" Natsu asked.

Lucy nodded, and Natsu made his way over to the bed; he hauled himself to the open side, careful to balance the little flame perfectly in the middle of his palm. He leaned back, still sort of sitting, against the headboard, letting the little flame keep the room lit softly.

Lucy flipped so she was facing him, snuggling into her pillows a bit. "Thank you. For everything."

Natsu looked down at her, eyes going soft. "You're welcome."

She let out a yawn. "I can see why you're my best friend. You're so nice."

He laughed. "Go to bed. You can't even keep your eyes open."

Lucy's eyes _were_ shut, but she still mumbled out, "Least I don't snore like you."

Her eyes were closed, but she could hear the smile in his voice when he spoke. "Night, Luce."

Lucy let herself relax into her pillows, the soft glow from the flame making her feel safe, like she was perfectly at home.


	4. Chapter 4

**_A/N:_** ** _I know I haven't posted in FOREVER, but my laptop broke and I'm finally getting the opportunity to write! Thanks for being patient! Hope you like this chapter, please review_** ** _J_**

Lucy awoke to the sound of a jackhammer. She cringed in place, choosing to snuggle further into her pillow rather than face the day; she hadn't even stretched, but she could feel the exhaustion in her limbs, in her bones. But, as much as she would have loved to keep her eyes shut and drift back into a deep sleep, the rude sound that had initially forced her from her dreams only got worse.

Lucy's left eye snapped open, her face twisting into a look of utter madness once she recognized where the sound was coming from.

It was no jackhammer, she'd noted. Just a pink haired dragon slayer strewn across her bed—his lean legs were scattered across hers, essentially pinning her bottom half to the mattress—with his mouth wide open, snoring directly into her face.

Of course, before she'd come to terms with the fact that Natsu had in fact awoken her with his intense snoring, she'd nearly had a panic attack. The second she'd opened her eyes, her heart had practically stopped out of fear. She hadn't known the stranger in the bed, hadn't known the bed she was in, hadn't remembered that this place was in fact _hers_.

She'd forgotten again, if only for a split second, the memories she'd made in the previous day. And this, of course, had made her body go still with fear and horror.

Being unaware of where she was, not being sure of who the person was beside her, if only for the tiniest fraction of a moment, had reminded her of her reality.

She had forgotten everything. She didn't know herself, didn't know her closest friends, didn't know her entire life. Every moment of happiness, of joy, of sadness and anger…she'd lost them all. The only things she knew were the things Natsu had told her, the things she'd picked up in the few hours since she'd woken. And it wasn't enough. She still felt incomplete.

And right there, in that bed, with a boy snoring so loud she thought her brain might burst, Lucy realized that she wanted it all back. She wanted the memories, the friendships, the bonds she'd created throughout her life. She was determined to get it all back. She had to. She hated feeling like a stranger to herself.

So, Lucy figured she had a lot of work to do: re-introduce herself to her friends and family, learn as much about herself from these people as possible, and try to find who she really was.

But her first plan of action was to get Natsu to shut up.

Lucy narrowed her eyes at the sleeping boy; she poked her hand out from under the soft blankets and leaned over, pinching his nose. She waited patiently for a few seconds, watching as the sleeping mage responded to her action.

The snoring continued for a few long seconds, then faltered; silence flushed over the room, his mouth still gaping open, but no breath entering his lungs. For whatever reason, Natsu's natural instinct to breathe through his mouth had not kicked in; Lucy found this rather curious. A few seconds passed before Natsu's eyes snapped open and he began choking for breath, slapping Lucy's hand away so he could finally get a gasp of air.

Lucy smiled to herself as Natsu grumpily stuffed his head back under the pillow, trying to block the sunlight from his groggy eyes.

"Morning, sunshine," Lucy said with a grin.

"Too early." He responded, voice deep and rocky. "Go away."

Lucy was rather amused. "C'mon—get up. I've got a lot I want to do today."

Natsu's voice was still muffled, quiet. "Like…what?" He murmured, hesitant. Sure, he wanted Lucy to get out and do things despite her condition, but he was sort of running low on activities to do that didn't involve anyone she knew.

Lucy blinked, a little unsure. She ran her initial idea through her head a couple more times, trying to make sense of it. Her motivation to remember herself was taking full force, and she was feeling rather brave. "I want to go to the guild. See everyone." She nodded to herself afterwards, like she was confirming that she wanted to do it.

Natsu was quiet for a second, then turned his head; his right eye peaked out from under the pillows, searching the blonde's face. "You sure?" His eyebrows tugged down lower in concern. "Luce, we don't have to do anything you don't want. You know that."

Her brown eyes met his gaze. "I want to." Maybe it was silly, but she had a hope deep down in her heart that seeing everyone would bring the memories back to the surface. Maybe she just needed a little reminder, and that was all. "I promise."

Natsu didn't seem so convinced. "Okay…" He trailed off. "If that's what you want."

Lucy's stomach lurched with anxiety, but she ignored it. She had to do this eventually, right? Besides, what if this was the trigger that brought everything back? She'd remember the guild, her friends, her family, all of their adventures together…

She'd remember Natsu. She'd remember their spontaneous travels to other cities, remember the specific details of their intimate friendship. She'd be able to recall the night she first let him have her bed, when she'd found him crying; she'd remember every conversation they'd spoken.

Most importantly, she wouldn't feel so awful for forgetting someone that seemed so utterly unforgettable.

They'd gotten up. Natsu insisted on cooking Lucy breakfast; while he did, he told her about the guild, about their antics. He didn't go into specifics about the people—Lucy wanted to figure that out on her own—but talked about the adventures he'd been on.

Lucy learned a lot about Natsu in that short hour: he was quite the story teller, for one. He rambled and was at times fairly incoherent, but his stories were magnificent. He explained everything in so much detail, so extremely vividly, Lucy swore she could almost remember it. She learned that he'd travelled far and wide, that he was always accompanied by Happy, and now, never went anywhere without Lucy by his side. She'd learned that they were partners, that they worked together to complete missions all across the nation. She'd learned that he hated missions that were far away, because that meant they'd take the train, and he had awful motion sickness.

Lucy also learned that Natsu was a horrible cook. The eggs were charred and the bacon was extra crispy; the hashbrowns were barely edible. Her entire plate was steaming, each piece of food doused in char and soot.

But he had a grin on his face when he looked down at his meal, and Lucy figured that this was the way he _liked_ it. And he seemed so happy that she didn't dare complain about it. So she ate it, the bacon cracking against her teeth, turning into dust the second she tried to chew it, and gave the boy a smile.

He was a fire mage, after all. What did she expect?

After breakfast, Natsu showed her where she put all of her clothes—he could smell the different fabrics (dragon slayer's nose, he'd said) and could tell where every type of clothing she owned was in her many drawers.

"How about a t-shirt and some jeans?" Lucy had suggested, but paused. "Wait, no. Just give me something that I would normally wear. Give me an average Lucy outfit, okay?"

Natsu nodded, obliging. He sniffed the air and headed towards her closet, tossing it open and leafing through the hangers until he found something appropriate; he chucked it at the blonde, letting the clothing fall over her head.

Lucy snorted, pulling it off her head, eyeing it. A pretty top and a skirt. "Thanks."

"Oh—these too."

Another couple pieces of fabric hit Lucy in the face gently: two knee length socks.

Natsu's face lit up again. "Panties."

Lucy blinked at him. "What?"

He began to dig through her top drawer. "You need 'em, don't ya?"

Her face flushed and she dove forwards, pushing him away from the drawer. "Knock it off!" Sure, he'd shown that they were pretty close friends, but she was sure they weren't _that_ close. She began to rifle through the drawer herself, face hot as she poked through her fairly skimpy underwear. Once she'd decided on a pair, she stuffed it into the pile of clothes in her arms.

Lucy turned, looking towards the boy. "Shower?"

"Right," He nodded. "Through there."

"Thanks," Lucy mumbled back, still horribly embarrassed that Natsu had gotten a long glimpse at her panty drawer. She made her way to the bathroom, running the shower to get the water at the right temperature; she got out a towel and hung it, preparing for once her shower was over. She set her clothes on the counter and turned to the tub, watching the water soak the porcelain.

And for whatever reason, it was daunting.

She'd gone through the entire apartment, tried to find pieces of herself. And she had, sort of. The décor, the layout…it had all said something. She'd slept in her own bed, felt how alien the sheets felt against her skin. She'd stared up at her own ceiling, not recognizing it. But that hadn't really been that bad.

But for whatever reason, the shower was daunting. The clawfoot tub with the wraparound shower curtain made her veins buzz with fear. She was frozen in place, skin ice cold.

There was nothing about a bathroom that really said anything about a particular person. Everyone's bathroom was relatively the same: toilet, sink, tub. That's all. Lucy's bathroom was particularly bare; she didn't even have reading material beside the toilet. And that was what seemed to freak her out the most.

There was nothing person about a bathroom, nothing that hinted to who she was. Her entire life was empty, but this specific spot was particularly blank. She couldn't even _try_ to find herself in here. Her shoulders slumped slightly, and a feeling of dread spread over her. Maybe this quest to find herself was hopeless after all.

She stood there, staring at the clawfoot tub, glaring at its blank porcelain. She willed it to tell her something, willed it to give her any sort of hint. But it didn't, and nothing happened, and she just stood there for what felt like hours but was only seconds.

There was a knock on the door, bursting through her haze.

Natsu's muffled voice spoke out to her. "Hey, Luce, careful with the shower knobs—they're backwards." He paused for a quiet moment. "Don't want you to burn yourself."

His voice sort of broke through her, sort of touched her heart. Because yeah, she couldn't remember anything and she couldn't find herself in the fucking bathroom, but that was her friend out there, and he was trying to help. And that had to mean something, right? The fact that he was worried about her burning her skin and worried about her using the shower. That was important.

Maybe she didn't need to find herself in the bathroom. Maybe she didn't need any hints right now, right here. Maybe she just needed someone to guide her alone the way.

"Natsu?" Lucy's voice spoke, crackled and broken. It was clear she'd been on the verge of tears.

His voice was jumpy, suddenly aware that she was having some sort of struggle in here. "Yeah? Luce, you okay?"

She swallowed; her throat was tight. "Yeah, it's just…" She took a second to pause, to decide on the right words. "Could you come and sit in here with me?"

There was a long silence.

His voice was anxious, like he was so worried he might throw up. "In the bathroom?"

"Yeah, it's weird, I know, it's just—" Her words cut off for a split second. "Just come sit in here, on the floor or something, and talk to me while I shower."

"Is everything okay?"

Lucy sucked in a shaky breath. She was pretty pathetic—shaking and nearly sobbing because she didn't recognize her own damn bathroom. It was just a little thing, something that shouldn't matter, but it shook her. It made her eyes sting, her chest ache.

"I'm scared."

His voice was different, now. The fear, the anxiety…it had slipped away to leave room for strength. He had to be brave for the both of them. He couldn't even begin to imagine what was going through Lucy's head, but it didn't really matter to him. She was his best friend and she was afraid and she was crying in the bathroom, and he'd do just about anything to stop that. He'd do anything to make it better.

"I'm coming."

Natsu came in the bathroom, his presence instantly easing Lucy; he made his way over to her, big hands grabbing her little palms, dark eyes calmly staring into her brown ones. He was the epitome of comfort; he was like home.

Everything sort of went by in a blur for Lucy, but she remembered it. He'd asked her if she was okay, if she wanted to just go back to bed and lay down until she felt better. She'd insisted she was fine—she wanted to shower—but just need a little help.

"Well," Natsu had said with a little smile, "I'll always be here to help you."

He'd taken a seat on the floor, like Lucy had instructed, while she got in the shower, averting his eyes. And then, without her even telling him what to do, Natsu had done exactly what Lucy had needed.

He sat there and started to chat about some random thing, telling her about one prank he pulled on one of their guildmates in the baths one time. That topic lead into another silly topic, and Lucy soon found herself giggling at the boy's stories as she showered.

The fear bubbled away, now replaced by the easiness that Natsu had brought along with him.

Lucy was suddenly very aware of why she'd become friends with Natsu in the first place. She knew why past Lucy—the Lucy that remembered—was so close with this pink haired boy.

Natsu knew exactly what she needed. He knew exactly what to do. He replaced any ounce of fear with absolute joy, absolute light.

Natsu was home to Lucy. She'd figured it out.

And maybe she couldn't find any worthy hints about herself in her apartment. Maybe that was it—maybe she'd never _find herself_ or figure out who she really was by looking at the details of the décor in the flat.

But she knew, right then and there, that she would absolutely find who she was in Natsu. He was the key to remembering. She could feel it.


	5. Chapter 5

"What if they don't like me?" Lucy sputtered, pitch increasing with every word she spoke.

Natsu made a face, scoffing at the girl walking alongside him. An hour ago, Lucy had been absolutely determined that she would be walking straight into the guild and introducing herself to every single member; she'd been so motivated to regain her memories that she'd been up for just about anything. But, as soon as they left the safety of her apartment, her determination had melted down into a puddle of absolute fear.

"Luce—they already _do_ like you. They know you. They're your friends."

The blonde's eyebrows were knitted together as her face wilted into a frown. "But, what if they don't like me anymore? What if my memories had made me who I was, and now that I don't have them, I don't have the same personality? What if they hate me, Natsu?" Her mind continued to race as she rambled on; a couple seconds later, she let out a little gasp. She turned to the boy beside her, eyes wide. "What if they kick me out of the guild?"

Natsu rolled his eyes. "They won't kick you out. And they won't hate you! You've gotta quit freakin' out." He turned his gaze over to her, searching her worried expression as they walked along. He couldn't help but note how the corners of her lips turned downward—she was more nervous than he'd thought. "They're good people."

Lucy nodded, letting out an anxious sigh. "So, what's gonna happen again? Run me through it."

"We're gonna go into the guild," Natsu began, recounting what he'd already told her would happen a hundred time. "And you're gonna talk to as many people as you feel comfortable talking to. That's it."

"And they know I'm coming, right?" Lucy questioned, voice tight as her eyes flickered up to Natsu's. "No surprises?"

Natsu nodded. "Yep—no surprises."

"Okay," Lucy replied, letting out a tense _whoosh_ of air from her lungs.

They walked in silence for a little bit; Lucy's mind was racing nervously, and Natsu was just watching her carefully.

He'd never been more worried about her. And that was really saying something, considering how many stupid situations the two had gotten themselves trapped into in the past. They'd been kidnapped, beaten and bruised, but nothing had ever really amounted to what Natsu felt right now.

Just seeing that look on her face as they walked made him want to fall to his knees. Her body was stiff with fear, almost like it had paralyzed her joints; her lips were pulled downwards, like she was doing everything she could to stop herself from crying. And her eyes—those big, beautiful brown eyes—were huge and afraid.

Natsu had always cared for Lucy. That was obvious—she was his best friend, his teammate. But now, seeing her like this, seeing the flashes of fear and pain on her face when she remembers everything she's forgotten…well, it was the worst pain Natsu had ever felt. It was like torture. Like a fresh slap of a whip against his flesh every time _that look_ flashed into her eyes.

It was like a deep, raging fire in his belly: he had to make this better. For Lucy.

The closer they got to the guild hall, the more Lucy wanted to throw up. She'd begun to fidget furiously, tugging on her skirt or pulling up her socks or adjusting her hair. Once the guild hall was in sight, she begun to chew on her nails.

Natsu's heart ached, but he didn't let his emotions onto his expression. He nudged her, giving her a smirk. "Don't worry about it, Luce. I've got you."

Lucy gave the boy a nod, blinking a couple times when she peered straight ahead. She was nervous—extremely nervous—but Natsu's presence really _did_ have a calming effect on her. Not only what he said, but his literal being seemed to ease her. She figured that, despite losing all memories of him, her body seemed to recall him; when he spoke, she could feel her blood pressure lower, her muscles relax.

And that kind of made her feel better, knowing that deep deep down, _some_ part of her knew him.

When they hit the guild hall doors, Lucy made Natsu stop for a minute to let her catch her breath, prepare herself. She stared up at the building, in awe of the massive height of the thing. It was interesting, the architecture, and she couldn't help but admire it. Still, it hit her hard that she had absolutely no memory of the place.

"You ready?" Natsu had asked after a couple minutes, searching her expression.

"No," Lucy sputtered, clasping her clammy hands together. "No."

"We don't have to do this, y'know," Natsu offered. "We could wait until another day."

Lucy frowned. "No—I can do this," She huffed out. She met his eyes, the determination she'd felt before sinking back into her pores. "I can. I can do this."

Natsu nodded. "Atta be, Luce!"

She gave him a final nod, and he pushed open the massive doors to the guild hall.

And everything erupted into madness.

Lucy was instantly thrust into chaos, into something she couldn't comprehend; the space inside of the guild was enormous, but filled with so many people that it felt cramped. The second she'd stepped inside, noise burst out, bursting her eardrums.

" _Welcome back, Lucy! We missed you!_ " The people all shouted, smiles and grins on their faces.

There were balloons everywhere, party decorations. Everyone had a drink in their hands—some had barrels of liquor—and a smile on their lips. Food was laid out on the large banquet style tables, filling every inch with exquisite looking desserts.

People were laughing and shouting out greetings, and Lucy was thrust forward by the crowd as they surrounded her, wanting to get a better look at the girl that had been in the hospital for the past week. And she didn't blame them, really. Everyone would be excited to see their sick friend again.

But it was too much. Too many people, too many faces that she didn't fucking recognize. They were smiling and laughing and reaching out and touching her shoulder. Too many strangers, not enough space, not enough understanding. She was confused, she was lost. Everything was spinning; her stomach lurched in fear.

"Lucy! Nice to see you!"

"You look great, Luce!"

 _Too much_.

"We missed you, Lucy!"

"So glad to have you back, girl!"

 _Too much. Too much._

She looked back, reached back for Natsu, but the crowd and pushed him back away from her; panic flooded through her body as she saw him get pushed further back, shepherded away from her.

Not enough space. No one she knew. Her worst nightmare. Totally alone. She was breathing too heavily now, heaving out the air and sucking it in too quickly; she felt like she was floating, getting too light-hearted. She didn't belong here. This wasn't right. This wasn't where she was supposed to be—she didn't know these people.

It was all too much: the surprise welcome party, the food, the balloons, the giant guild hall. The giant crowd of absolute strangers that _knew_ her, they knew her name and they called out to her and they touched her shoulder and arm and back. They'd missed her and she didn't fucking know a single one of them.

She was breathing too fast, far too fast, but her head throbbed and her chest ached and the nausea was getting worse now, and she didn't know if she was going to throw up or black out or something else.

And it was like she wasn't even in her body, that was the sensation. Her heart was beating so hard it hurt and she couldn't get enough room and too many strangers were calling out to her and it was so fucking loud, and she just couldn't handle it.

Lucy fell to her knees, clapping her hands over her ears, and let out a scream. Tears streamed down her cheeks. People gasped, crowded her even closer because they were worried. She didn't care. She just kept screaming. She wasn't even aware of anything anymore.

Natsu had gotten separated from her once they'd entered and everyone had crowded around her; he was shoving through the people, trying to get back to her, trying to reach her. And then that shriek pierced through the air, and everything went quiet for a single second before erupting into even more noise as people tried to help, and Natsu fucking lost it.

He shoved people to the side, not caring if he knocked them over. "Out of the way!" He shouted, voice harsh. But he didn't care. Lucy was upset and this was too much for her and she wasn't ready for all of this, and—

Through people's legs, he could see Lucy's body, curled up into a tiny ball; she was sobbing, screaming. Looking at her, hearing those sounds coming from her, Natsu could feel his heart crack and then shatter in his chest. Tears welling up in his eyes, he let out a shout, willing everyone to back away from her and get out of his way.

"Move it!" Natsu screamed. "Let me see her!"

Natsu yelling in the guild hall was a regular occurrence, considering how many fights he'd get into with Gray in a single day. Normally, people paid no mind to Natsu and his screeches of anger—it was just another sound of regular life at the guild. But this scream—the anger, the pain resonating behind it—was enough to get everyone was far away from him as possible.

The crowd gasped and shuffled out of his way, leaving a straight path to the girl that lay screaming on the ground. Natsu ran over, sliding on his knees to her, wrapping his arms around her instantly.

"Luce? Lucy, talk to me, it's okay, really, please—" He cooed, trying to calm her down. "Please, it's okay, I'm here. Natsu's here."

Lucy didn't seem to be able to hear him; it was like she was unaware of what was going on anymore. Her hands were still clasped over her ears, despite the only noise in the place being Natsu trying to calm her; she was still screaming at the top of her lungs, her eyes and face red and puffy due to the lack of oxygen as she screeched.

The crowd—their guildmates, their friends—watched on in horror.

"Lucy!" Natsu whispered to her, tears beginning to fumble over the edge of his lids and slipping down his cheeks.

He wasn't much of a crier, honestly. He didn't cry very often—and he especially didn't cry in front of people. But he'd always had a soft spot for Lucy, and he'd been so fucked up over her forgetting him. He'd been even more fucked up about how the whole memory loss had messed her up.

If seeing her upset was torture, seeing her like _this_ —incapable of understanding or words, screaming out of fear, falling to her knees sobbing—was bad enough to kill him. And that's just what it felt like. Like he'd died, right there.

He was supposed to protect her, after all. He'd said he was there for her. But he'd failed, hadn't he? He'd let this happen. She'd trusted him and he'd let her down.

"Please, Lucy," Natsu begged, whispering into the girl's ear, trying to push a few locks of blonde strands behind her ear. More tears slid down his cheeks, now. How could he bare to see his best friend like this, in this state? "I'm right here, I'm here."

She screamed for a couple more minutes, but seemed to falter when she truly needed a breath of air; her face was nearly purple from the deprivation. She continued to sob, still unable to speak or open or eyes or even comprehend what was happening around her. Natsu rubbed her back in small circles, petted her hair. After a couple more minutes, her sobs had lessened to silent tears; she still wouldn't speak, still didn't really know what was going on. But she turned to Natsu and threw herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck. She hugged herself tight against him, her tears now falling onto his neck and she snuggled herself in.

Natsu wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight, not minding that she had nuzzled her face into his neck and was now coating his skin with tears. He didn't care. He'd never seen someone shut down like that before—he'd never seen a person go unresponsive from a panic attack like she just had. His heart was pounding hard.

His dark eyes flickered up, now that Lucy had stopped screeching and had found a place of solace in his arms; to his surprise, the entire guild was still there, watching. Some of them had tears in their eyes; others were simply too shocked to make a sound. He'd honestly been so focused on Lucy he'd forgotten they were even there.

Makarov stepped forward, tears in his eyes. When he spoke, his voice cracked; he was very clearly upset. "Natsu, we didn't mean—"

Natsu wiped the tears from his cheeks with the back of his left hand, not daring to remove his right hand from Lucy's back. She whimpered into him, pushing her nose further into his neck.

"It's okay," Natsu sputtered back, words cracking. He didn't have the energy to get angry, to question why they thought bombarding her on her return would be a good idea. His voice was exhausted, hollow. "It's…okay."

Seeing her like that had drained him. Seeing her breakdown, have a meltdown, have a panic attack to such a degree…he felt absolutely depleted, weary. His chest hurt, like someone had stabbed him right through the lungs.

He sat there for a couple more minutes trying to muster enough energy to get off the floor and carry Lucy home. When he finally did, no one said a single word. He'd never heard the guild be this quiet before. Lucy curled up in his arms, still completely out of it, and he held her tight to his chest.

Natsu walked to Lucy's apartment, desperately trying to stop himself from replaying the scene that had just played out before him. He tried not to think about how upset Lucy was, tried not to replay that godforsaken scream that seemed to pierce him right down to his very soul.

He got into her apartment and carried her up the steps; he laid her carefully on the bed, making sure to pull the blankets up to her chin.

Lucy's face was completely and utterly blank, like she was a robot. Her eyes had opened, and she was watching Natsu as he got her settled into bed, but she didn't say a word. She had no emotion on her face, no expression at all.

"I'm just going to grab you a glass of water, okay?" Natsu spoke, his voice soft. He stood, pushing himself off of the edge of the bed; just as he was about to turn and leave the bedroom, Lucy's little hand snapped out and grabbed his wrist.

Natsu turned back to her, surprised. "Eh?"

Lucy's little voice was muffled by the blankets pulled up slightly over her chin. "Don't go."

Natsu blinked. Her voice was so little, so weak; everything about her screamed _fragile_. "I'll be back in a second, Luce."

Another little squeak from the girl, although it was different than usual. This wasn't _Lucy_ —this was a broken little shell of Lucy. She was different. Scarred from the experience, surely. Natsu didn't blame her. "Promise?"

Natsu gave her a smile. "'Course," He mumbled, big hand coming down and patting her head. "Can't leave my girl all alone."

A hint of a smile touched her lips, but it was still a bit more hollow than a usual Lucy smile. Natsu hoped she'd be okay—he couldn't go a day without seeing her smile.

He dashed off to the kitchen to grab a cup of water for the blonde, and then ran back to the bedroom. By the time he returned to the bedroom, the blonde girl's eyes had slipped shut and she was fast asleep; Natsu smirked at her and set the water on her side table.

And, simply out of habit, he began to head for the couch. He'd grab a pillow out of the hall closet, flop down on the sofa, and stare at the ceiling, like he usually did. But this time, before he stepped out of the room, he glanced back at his best friend, all tucked up in bed.

His heart stuttered for a couple seconds, watching her sleep.

Every time he looked at her, all he saw was her screaming bloody murder on the floor, afraid and scared and crying, lost and confused by her surroundings. He saw the fear in her eyes, the absolute chaos and disarray in her expression.

She'd been overwhelmed, afraid by the people that were once her friends.

She had to sleep in a bed she didn't recognize, in an apartment she didn't remember, without even a single memory to aid her.

Natsu was all she had, truly.

And he vowed to help her, to protect her, right then and there.

So rather than head to the hallway closet and grab a pillow, Natsu tugged off his vest and turned back into the bedroom; he gently laid on the empty side of the bed, turning off the lamp on his way. He laid on his side, letting his hands fall so they were skimming Lucy's side. He could feel her shoulders rise and fall with every breath, and he finally relaxed, letting out a sigh of exhaustion.

He'd protect her. Forever.

 ** _A/N:_** ** _Hi, everyone! I really hoped you guys liked this chapter…I'm not really sure how I'm feeling about where this story is going, but we'll see! I hope no one thinks I'm being too dramatic about her little meltdown…I'm just trying to make it a realistic depiction of a person whose dealing with the struggles of losing all of their memories! I am also trying so so so hard not to be OOC, but I'm not sure if I'm succeeding. Please review, let me know what you think! It would mean the world to me!_**


	6. Chapter 6

Lucy had woken up, utterly exhausted. Her eyes stung from all the crying and, for whatever reason, her limbs ached like she'd run a marathon the previous night. She sat up in the (still) unfamiliar bed, stretching out her arms, trying to ease the painful sensations tingling her muscles.

As she sat up, plates clattered on her knees; she looked down, lips twisting into a slight frown. To her surprise, there was a spread of relatively charred food set before her: two pancakes, two eggs, a couple slices of bacon, some breakfast sausage links, and a bowl of strawberries. The blonde's eyes softened, looking at the plates of food, already knowing how they'd gotten there.

Natsu.

Lucy glanced around, looking for the boy, but he wasn't around; she called out his name, but only silence echoed back to her. She was alone.

Panic shot through her, and her fingers instantly clamped down on the blankets, gripping the fabric tightly. She was alone—completely alone. Her breath began to quicken, her pace building fast; her brown eyes shot around the place, looking for something— _anything_ —to calm her down.

Up until now, the apartment had been weird. Odd. A little daunting, even—but she hadn't been afraid, not really. The bathroom had stressed her out, but other than that, she'd been alright. But now, being here alone, without Natsu…she was terrified.

Her apartment—a place she most likely thought of as a place of solace, of peace—was now scary. The idea was mind boggling, honestly. It didn't make sense. How could her body not remember this place? How could her soul not be eased by being here, her home?

But her throat was still tight and her eyes had begun to sting even more and she'd noticed that her knuckles had gone white as bone as she gripped the blankets. She blinked, eyelashes fluttering against her cheekbones, as the realization hit her.

The apartment wasn't home anymore—Natsu was.

But he was gone and the apartment was cold and silent, and Lucy wasn't quite sure if she was breathing or not. She wanted to be back to normal, wanted to remember all of her friends, remember all the memories they'd shared so badly, but she couldn't. She couldn't remember, couldn't keep herself steady, couldn't stop herself from breaking down every ten seconds…

Her brown eyes filled up with tears and she cringed against her pillow, trying to fight the oncoming panic attack, trying to resist the feeling of terror that creeped up her neck. Lucy pulled her knees up a little, sending the plates of food on her lap tipping over; she let out a gasp, reaching out and grabbing the plates before the food could spill onto her sheets. As she did so, a little sticky note fluttered down, falling from one of the platters of food.

Lucy frowned at the little pink sticky note; she picked it up, eyes washing over the words written on it.

' _Going to get more coffee,'_ the note said, the words sprawled across the small paper in the messiest writing Lucy had ever seen, ' _Don't worry – I'll be back. Love, Natsu'_

Lucy's lips turned up at the corners, a hint of a smile touching her cheeks; her heart seemed to slow, the aches in her chest subsiding. Her pulse calmed down, her muscles becoming less tense with every passing second. She ran her eyes over the last two words again, unable to stop her cheeks from glowing a soft blush.

 _Love, Natsu_.

Amazing how he could calm her down so damn quickly without even being in the same room.

Lucy wasn't sure what it was about Natsu that eased her so much. Maybe because he was the only person she felt slightly comfortable with, considering he was the only person she'd been able to speak to without having a meltdown? Or was it because he'd been there right from the start, right from when she first woke up without any memories?

She slumped back in the bed, folding the little sticky note and tucking it under her pillow. She eyed the food, stomach growling now that her panic attack had passed without concern; she grabbed a piece of bacon and began to munch on it.

No, no—those weren't why Natsu eased her so much. It had nothing to with him being there at the right time or him walking her through the struggles of memory loss. It was something more than that.

Somewhere, deep inside of her—although she wasn't certain where— _some part_ of Lucy knew the boy. Something inside of her _remembered_ him just ever so slightly. There was something…familiar about him.

And that was all she needed, really.

When she'd first woken up, he'd said he was her best friend. She hadn't believed him. Now, she did. She could feel it in her gut. Natsu was her best friend. Without remembering a single thing about him, without remembering how they'd met, she could say that single sentence with confidence. Because even though her mind forgot him, her heart didn't.

The sound of her front door opening broke her train of thought, thrusted her back into reality. Lucy jumped in her bed, a little afraid, until she recognized a voice.

"You can't come," Natsu muttered, sounding rather grumpy. "She had a rough enough day yesterday, and I don't wanna freak her out even more, and—"

A high pitched voice responded, whining back. "C'mon, Natsu! Please let me see her. I won't even be annoying."

Lucy froze in position, shock bubbling through her blood. Someone else was here. Someone she didn't recognize—a person she didn't remember. Her heart began to hammer, slamming against her ribs. She couldn't see someone, not after the shit-show that was last night. She couldn't bear to see another forgotten face. It was too stressful, too much.

The voices were getting closer.

"No!" Natsu sighed. "Look—I know you miss her, but she's pretty stressed. I don't want to make it worse."

The high pitched voice was sad, now. "Is she okay? Y'know, after yesterday?"

A long silence, and then Natsu's voice mumbled out the words, cracking. "I don't know."

"Maybe I'll be able to cheer her up!"

"Hey—that's my job, and don't you forget it!"

"Just lemme see her," The stranger whined. "Maybe I'll make her smile or somethin'!"

Natsu hesitated, responding slowly. "Maybe. Let me…let me just check up on her, okay? Ask if it's alright."

"Good enough for me!" The voice cried with joy.

Natsu made his way to Lucy's room, clumsily banging through the house; he turned the knob and walked into the bedroom, letting out a cry once he realized Lucy was sitting up, staring at the door, awaiting his arrival. "Gah!" He'd hissed, nearly falling over. "Geez, Luce—scared the shit outta me."

Lucy's eyes were wide. "Whose here?"

Natsu met her gaze, expression crumbling. Clearly, the fact that someone was even in her house made her upset—and he'd allowed it to happen. He leaned against the doorway, eyes dropping to the floor. "It's Happy," He muttered. "He's my— _our_ best friend."

That seemed to stun her. She had another best friend? The idea seemed preposterous, absurd. She'd asked Natsu not to talk about any of their friends because she wanted to figure everything out on her own, but _this_ seemed weird. She'd had another best friend all along, but she'd forgotten them so completely that she hadn't even _missed_ them?

Guilt flushed her.

"Happy?" Lucy blinked. "Their name is Happy?"

Natsu nodded. "Yeah, he wanted to see you." He paused. "If that's too much, if you're not ready, I'll boot him out, no problem—"

Lucy nodded. "Bring him in."

Natsu's eyes went wide. " _What?_ Luce—"

"It's okay—I can do this."

The pink haired boy wasn't so convinced. "Are you sure?"

Honestly, she wasn't completely sure that she could handle seeing someone, especially after last night's fiasco, but she couldn't help it. She felt guilty for forgetting everyone she loved—especially someone she'd consider a best friend. So, she figured she'd suck it up, deal with it. If this Happy person was so important, he deserved to see her.

"Yes," Lucy responded, trying to hide the shake in her voice. "I can do this."

"Ooo-kay," Natsu replied. He wasn't about to control Lucy—she could make her own decisions—and tell her she shouldn't have visitors. "Happy—get in here!"

Lucy trained her eyes on the doorway, awaiting a person to step through, into her bedroom; to her surprise, a floating blue ball of fluff barreled its way into her bedroom, aimed directly at her. The thing was so damn fast that she didn't have the reflexes or reaction time to dodge out of the way; it flew directly at her and slammed into her chest, sending her knocking back against her headboard.

" _Lucy!"_ The little blue things cried, little paws wrapped around her as it slammed its face into her breasts. "I missed you!"

"Ack!" Lucy cried as the fluff tumbled into her. She hesitated putting her hands on it; she stared down at the little thing, confused. "Whaa?"

"Ugh," Natsu groaned, "Happy—what did I say about taking it easy on her?"

"I don't care!" The little voice chimed in, muffled by her boobs. "I'm so glad you're okay, Lucy!"

Natsu grabbed the little thing's tail, holding him up in the air. "C'mon, buddy—give her some space."  
Lucy peered at the little blue figure, coming to terms with what was before her. A cat. A blue cat—with wings. And a voice. Her head tilted to the side as she frowned at the cat, watching as the little guy began to sob before her, tears welling up in his eyes and streaming down his cheeks, hitting the blankets below.

Natsu rolled his eyes, letting out a huff. "You don't have to cry, Happy—Luce's fine."

"Says you!" Happy snapped out mid-sob. "When we first got Lucy's diagnosis you cried for two hours straight!"

Lucy's cheeks flushed slightly, and she smirked up at the pink haired boy. "Oh, really?"

"Pfffft," Natsu sputtered, cheeks nearly matching the color of his hair. "Did not."

"Did too," Happy muttered as Natsu set him down on the bed, wiping his eyes with his little paws. Happy's big eyes flickered up to the blonde, and he stuck his right paw out to her. "I'm Happy."

Lucy smiled, and surprisingly, there was no panic at all like she'd expected. It felt…natural with them. Lucy, Natsu, and Happy. She'd just met this little fellow, but it made sense. "Nice to meet you, Happy. I'm Lucy."

"How ya feelin'?"

"Tired," She answered honestly. "A little confused."

Natsu piped in. "But that breakfast was great, wasn't it?" He grinned at her, and it was nearly as bright as the sun.

"It was good," Lucy admitted. "Thanks a lot, Natsu."

She made a mental note to thank him later for the note he'd left. Without it, she'd be a sobbing mess on the floor right now.

The three continued to talk for quite a while, chatting about random things—Natsu asked about the guild, Happy told him who had left for jobs in the past two weeks or so. Happy asked Lucy if Natsu was being mean to her, and she'd said Natsu was being a perfect gentleman; Happy seemed surprised by that.

And the more they talked, the more Lucy realized that this was where she belonged. Right there, with her two best friends. She was glad that Happy had decided to come over. Without knowing it, he'd been a missing puzzle piece. She didn't remember him, and he wasn't nearly as familiar as Natsu, but he fit. They were a family, something that just made _sense_.

The more the conversations went on, the more Lucy began to ask questions about the guild. How many members? Who was the master? Who were her closest friends? Nothing too detailed, nothing too intense—just some light information help her understand a bit more.

After a couple hours, Lucy got up to make lunch—the boys helped, of course—and they all went and watched on the couch afterwards. Within twenty minutes, the boy on Lucy's right and the cat on Lucy's left had fallen asleep; they both hunched over, leaning on her. Within an hour, she was both the boys' pillow; they slobbered on her and snored over the film.

But she didn't care, not really. She watched them as they snored, smiling to herself as they mumbled in their sleep. And for the first time, Lucy thought that things would be okay, even if she didn't remember.

Because she had her two best friends, her boys. She had Natsu, her rock. Happy, a little light of joy. She had all she needed. She could get through anything. She could meet her friends again, stop crying every ten minutes. She could make it through, with them.

They made her feel whole, even when so much of her was missing.


End file.
